Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
