i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
