people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
