At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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