OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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