Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
