my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize