Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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