y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
