No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
