People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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