he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
