He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When did angry sex become our thing?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
