Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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