My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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