Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
