Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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