She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You pole danced in your parka.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
