If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
