I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
