I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize