just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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