this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
