I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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