were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
