She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
