help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
only you would photoshop your dick
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
