he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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