So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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