no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
