so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
