Where did you get a picture of my penis
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
