His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
