this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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