No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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