I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
