Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i think my mom watched the whole time
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
And then my night got REAL pukey
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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