So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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