i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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