well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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