Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
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just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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