My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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