Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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