CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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