Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
