I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
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This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
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Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.