So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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