Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This is not my ceiling
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Man Helps Gorilla Find His Next Tinder Date
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Women Confess The Weirdest Things Men Wanted From Them
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend