Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
After tacos, we're chasing women.