Barsexuality is the new black.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
