Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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