Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
