so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
