Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
