I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
