Fuck appropriateness.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
