ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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