Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i think my mom watched the whole time
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
my shit smells like andre
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
