Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
