My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
