He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Pooping to opera.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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