how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
